Some Humor from Moel Joughon

We--managers and supervisors--have to complete a daily manager-on-duty report so that the next shift is prepared to deal with the more notable incidents. Here are a few of my favorites (all for real):


“We had a guest that slipped in vomit that [associate] dealt with. Had to drain the fountain again tonight because some others couldn't make it from the bar to the elevator without a barf stop."

"[Top-tier loyalty club guest] a little miffed because a baby crawled over to his balcony from the neighboring room and pooped on his balcony."

"[Top-tier loyalty club guest] was checked into a handicap-accessible room by [associate] without being notified. He was not happy about that, especially since he is a [frequent-traveler club] member. So [associate] moved him to a room close to the old one. Well, he still was not happy about that room, and he waited over 15min for his luggage and new keys to be delivered which did not make him happy (his blood pressure went up very high)."

“Room 1111 was Mr. and Mrs. Xxxx. Mrs. Xxxxx claims a cockroach ran across her arm last night and scared her like you would not believe. I room-moved the Xxxxx party to room 0000. Mrs. Xxxxx would like us to pay for her and her child to return home due to the trauma and discomfort that this has caused. Both I and [associate] from Loss Prevention informed Mrs. Xxxxx that we could not do that for her but that we would be happy to buy her breakfast, comp a movie, or something, but the flight home was out of our ability—just in case she comes to the desk.”

“Valet – Had a few complaints about the valet at 11:45 pm. Vehicle owner said the [one] driver was speeding. [Associate] and I went to investigate, and he was driving fast, and to make matters worse, the car we observed him speeding in had a flat tire. The owner, however, was drunk and did not get upset. [Valet driver] assisted our staff in putting the spare on the vehicle.”

“Ms. Xxxxx is disputing some of the pool bar charges her brother billed to the room. The brother wrote both the room number and last name on the tickets after they finished drinking together, but Ms. Xxxxx claims she did not authorize her brother’s charges, and she feels we are now responsible. She has even offered to give us her brother’s contact info so we can collect from him.”

“We also had Mrs. Xxxxx in room 0000 come to the desk very upset wanting to see a manager, because her room key had to be re-programmed & she didn’t have a picture ID with her so security had to meet her by her room. She said how great [associate] was yesterday helping her fix her reservation so she could stay here. If [associate] had been so great, I could not really see what she was so mad about. She kept saying having to get a second key ruined her whole experience here. I apologized and offered her a pay-per-view movie, but she was still unhappy, I really didn’t offer more because if we gave out something every time we had to re-make keys we would be out of business.”

“4th wing poolfront suite – Someone tossed a large circular, amber-colored thick glass vase with a painted white interior from the balcony onto the [restaurant] patio, and, of course, it shattered. HSKP, please call security if a vase is missing from any 4th wing poolfront room or suite so they can note in their records. No guests were injured, fortunately.”

“0000/ Xxxxx - Has a jazz band and party in his suite. Several complaints from nearby rooms; had to comp room night for Xxxxx in neighboring rm 0000 (upper-tier loyalty club guest)."

“Complained of karaoke party in room 0000; security was dispatched. Guests in 0000 were blaring their music and told security they were going to party all night and didn't care what they said. Soon after, neighboring room called the police. (Incidentally, both of these rooms are with the same group.)”

“However Mr. Xxxxx in 0000 (res 00000) had an amazing time last night. He got a little intoxicated and decided to throw pancakes off of his balcony on to passing cars. Believe it or not we had no guest complaints due to this.”

“Mr. Xxxxx was golfing with his son on 8/13 on the [primary] course. On the first hole, Mr. Xxxxx 's son hit an errant tee shot which broke a window at [neighbor's] residence. Mr. [neighbor] was home at the time and he came out and spoke with Mr. [guest]. Mr. [neighbor] gave him his phone number and they parted ways. After 9 holes, Mr. [guest's] son came into the golf shop and gave us his father's name and phone number and explained what happened. Mr. [guest] called me this morning and asked for advice. I told him that the resort is protected from liability, and we do not get involved. After speaking for several minutes, Mr. [guest] said the resort should pay for it since he spends a lot of time at [chain name] properties.”

“I got a call today from Mr. Xxxxx (top-tier loyalty club guest); he was trying to speak with the manager on duty or the resort manager. He tried to call reservations yesterday at 07:00 pm to make a booking for a room on Aug 30th & check the chances of getting an upgrade. He complained that the lady who spoke to him was “rude & snoopy.”

“Wife saw rodent by pool which made her jump off her lounge chair, and she claims—ruined the pedicure she got at our spa."